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Stylised Grandmaster Cheater
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:27 am Post subject: How is this creative writing piece? |
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Creative Writing Piece
I love it when I’m in the middle of a favourite-to-be movie.
I love it when I can rest my mind and delve into a book at night.
I love it when my cat curls up and purrs herself to another dream.
I love it when love can be extracted from a puddle of words.
I love it when a painting can make us feel the artist’s dreams.
What I like is a simple and fulfilling conclusion to an intricate plot.
What I like is the afternoon of a relaxing and boring Friday.
What I like is having a purpose or a goal to strive for, and feel success at the end of the road.
What I like is the glimmer of a promising piece of the future.
What I like is the long road home.
What I don’t like is a binding of our imagination.
I don’t like is being on the verge of a storm.
I don’t like the bustle of a hurried preparation.
I don’t like a train of thought disrupting another.
I don’t like recognising and writing down what I don’t like.
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Cryoma Member of the Year
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:03 am Post subject: |
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It doesn't rhyme, it can't be sung, and as far as I can tell there's no pentameter.
What is it?
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bfsdbsdfbdsfb Grandmaster Cheater
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Joined: 06 Sep 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Oh noez.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:37 am Post subject: |
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| Cryoma wrote: | It doesn't rhyme, it can't be sung, and as far as I can tell there's no pentameter.
What is it? |
It can be sung, but it sounded ridiculous.
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Dillonz Grandmaster Cheater
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm sorry but it doesn't flow.
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Stylised Grandmaster Cheater
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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Didn't say it was a poem or song really. I really don't know what it is.
Just something for my Literature class.
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redslothx Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 27 Nov 2006 Posts: 1949
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:18 am Post subject: |
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If you're going to make something like what you did, then you're better off making it simpler. Don't go into too many details in a single sentence, just make it short and simple.
Example:
| Quote: | I love it when I'm lost in a good movie.
I love it when I dive into a book to soothe my mind.
I love it when my cat curls on my bed and silently purrs away into her dreams.
I love it when love can be extracted from a puddle of words.
I love it when I can sense the artisit in a piece.
What I like is a thrilling conclusion to an intricate plot.
What I like is the afternoon as Friday concludes.
What I like is a goal to strive for so I can feel the end of my road.
What I like is the glimmer of a promising future.
What I like is the long road home.
I don’t like constraining my mind.
I don’t like the calm before the storm.
I don’t like the hassle of quick preparations.
I don’t like a train of thought disrupting another.
I don’t like recognizing and writing down what I don’t like. |
It's the same thing, but it's easier on the reader's eyes and it doesn't bore them to death as fast as the other did.
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Hero I'm a spammer
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Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 7154
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:21 am Post subject: |
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| Does it have to be a poem like this?
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r34p3r Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 1368 Location: Australia
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:27 am Post subject: |
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| It's prose not poetry.
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