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Phox
I post too much
 Reputation: 110
Joined: 11 Nov 2008
Posts: 2034
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 Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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I'll write a tune for the lyrics and a keyboard accompaniment...
Can I have permission to use it?
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yuki953
Grandmaster Cheater
 Reputation: 0
Joined: 20 Jul 2008
Posts: 558
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:08 am Post subject: |
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sure but give credit where credit is due...
i go to another forum where leaching is everyones "pasion" and is pisses everyone off that hours of there work is claimed by someone else
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Mobsy
Master Cheater
 Reputation: -1
Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 288
Location: root
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:06 am Post subject: Re: poetry is art!!!!!! (read) |
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Went over it and corrected it... If I missed anything, tell me and I will edit.
| yuki953 wrote: | Seven Deadly Layers
Making the treat
Fills you with pride
And nobody here
Is on your side.
A beautiful seven layers
One for each sin
Drooling lust from your mouth
As it grasps to your chin.
Looking at it knowing
How vicious it is
Just watching your neighbour
Envious of his.
The icing, darker then the pit of hell
Glutony calls you, to want more and more
Many different layers, you cannot name them all
As you go for a scoop, your plate falls to the floor.
Enraged with anger
Screaming with wrath!
Out of control
And on the wrong path.
Grasping your back,
Sloth holding you down
Crying in pain,
Soon to drown.
Greed overcomes you,
You cannot get away,
You want another peice,
But the sins want to play.
These seven deadly wonders
Have fun every day,
Not knowing what will happen,
We cant help but say "hey",
Inviting them to our doorsteps,
We cannot control our selves,
Is it the devil that is in us
Or do we store them on the shelfs.
Waking in the morning,
They stitch to our clothes,
Going where we need to
Along with our foes.
We run, we jog,
We gallop away,
They allways catch up
And they always stay.
They thrash, they bash,
They crash and they smash,
They thrill, they kill,
They fill and they chill.
You regret ever making it,
You feel your gut grow,
But then you remember
To go with the flow.
Its imposible to escape,
And hard to look back,
Feeling the pain
Of sins taking a wack.
So heres your cake Sulivan,
Have fun with your sins,
You said you wanted a poem:
Well Here the fun begins. |
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Hitler, where's my car? |
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yuki953
Grandmaster Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 20 Jul 2008
Posts: 558
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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=( you edited it? delete that quote please =( it takes the fun out of poetry
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Mobsy
Master Cheater
Reputation: -1
Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 288
Location: root
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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How does it take the fun out of poetry? I changed nothing, just corrected the grammar and spelling... Tell me if you still want me to delete :S
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Hitler, where's my car? |
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yuki953
Grandmaster Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 20 Jul 2008
Posts: 558
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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yes... fixing a poem makes it regular...
sorry, but yea
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Mr. Skittles
Expert Cheater
 Reputation: -1
Joined: 12 Oct 2007
Posts: 137
Location: Ermm...why you wanna know? Stalker much?
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| Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| yuki953 wrote: | yes... fixing a poem makes it regular...
sorry, but yea |
What do you mean it makes it regular?
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