Cheat Engine

yuki953 · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:27 pm Post subject: poetry is art!!!!!! (read)

7 Deadly layers

Making the treat
Fills you with pride
And nobody here
Is on your side

A beautiful seven layers
one for each sin
Droolng Lust from your mouth
as it grasps to your chin

Looking at it knowing
how vicious it is
Just watching your neighbor
envious of his

The icing, Darker then the pit of hell
Glutony calls you, to want more and more
Many differnt layers, you cannot name them all
As you go for a scoop, your plate falls to the floor

Enraged with anger
Screaming with wrath!
Out of control
And on the rong path

Grasping your back,
Sloth holding you down
crying in pain
soon to drown

Greed over comes you
you cannot get away
you want another peice
But the sins want to play

These seven deadly wonders
Have fun every day
not knowing what will happen
We cant help but say hey

inviting them to our doorsteps
We cannot control our selfs
Is it the devil that is in us
or do we store them on the shelfs

Waking in the morning
They stitch to our clothes
Going where we need to
Along with our foes

We run, we jog,
we gallop away
They allways cath up
And they allways stay

They thrash they bash
they crash and they smash
They thrill they kill
they fill and they chill

You regret ever making it
your feel your gut grow
but then you remember
to go with the flow

Its imposible to escape
and hard to look back
feeling the pain
of sins taking a wack

So heres your cake Sulivan
Have fun with your sins
You said you wanted a poem
well Here the fun begins

Grade it... be harsh

MaximuS · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:33 pm Post subject:

4.3 Out of 5
Pretty good.

yuki953 · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:40 pm Post subject:

do you get it?

@Retallion · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject:

Woah! I got to line like 15, this is some dark shit.

hcavolsdsadgadsg · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:10 pm Post subject:

Your flow feels a bit inconsistent at parts, but it reads well enough in most areas. Make sure you read it out loud to yourself, as it will help you find areas that sound 'clunky' or where the wording doesn't roll together as smooth as it should... unless this is what you're going for? Keep it consistent though, you'll develop a rhythm as you go.

I was kind of expecting all the seven to be included, but some are absent.

yuki953 · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:47 pm Post subject:

they are... the first seven have them lol re read it

ill bold them

Making the treat
Fills you with pride
And nobody here
Is on your side

A beautiful seven layers
one for each sin
Droolng Lust from your mouth
as it grasps to your chin

Looking at it knowing
how evil it is
Just watching your neighbor
envious of his

The icing, Darker then the pit of hell
Glutony calls you, to want more and more
Many differnt layers, you cannot name them all
As you go for a scoop, your plate falls to the floor

Enraged with anger
Screaming with wrath!
Out of control
And on the rong path

Grasping your back,
Sloth holding you down
crying in pain
soon to drown

Greed over comes you
you cannot get away
you want another peice
But the sins want to play

i beleive thats 7

hcavolsdsadgadsg · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:01 pm Post subject:

I guess I mis-remembered them? huh.

yuki953 · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:03 pm Post subject:

also.. its a 9th grade english SLAM final...

Shes the crazy kind of english teacher, who loves any kind of poetry =) so idc about how it "feels" when you say it lol

Its supposed to be devils food cake lolz... get it?

theres 2 titles...

Sin in a cake and
seven deadly layers

Mobsy · Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:29 am Post subject:

I agree that poetry is an art, and I really enjoyed your poem. Keep 'em coming.

yuki953 · Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:54 pm Post subject:

Portugal · How do I cheat? Reputation: 0 Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 0

4/5

It makes me want to slash my wrists

yuki953 · Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:38 pm Post subject:

im not a dark person =(

excluding the dark poem, my Display pic, and my siggy... lol

Dillonz · Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:34 pm Post subject:

Is "selfs" a word? I thought it was selves.

Phox · Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:01 pm Post subject:

You could use that as the lyrics for some death-metal song.

yuki953 · Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:06 pm Post subject:

not into deathmetal...

and idc about spelling lol as long as u get it