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[SWED] Faust Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Reputation: 6
Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 371 Location: Zug Izland
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:51 pm Post subject: MOTHER FUCKING SHIT |
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MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON REDTUBE. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN ASSHOLE UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY FORESKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG.
THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT MAY SEEM BAD BUT IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. THIS MAY SEEM EMBARRASSING BUT MY DAD IS A SERIOUSLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN. THIS HAPPENED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO AND HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME YET. I'M STILL IN MY ROOM TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING OLD SPICE OUT OF MY COCK. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
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Yazu™ How do I cheat?
Reputation: 14
Joined: 24 Oct 2008 Posts: 0
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Run to the hills, run for your life.
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Orfa Expert Cheater
Reputation: -1
Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts: 199 Location: Bangledesh, AKA New New York
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| You should make him rub your cock until it gets better.
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MasterChief Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
Reputation: 0
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1208 Location: Texas
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you so much for the laugh.
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Derrden. Expert Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 25 Nov 2008 Posts: 240 Location: Everywhere.
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| I R RETARDED! wrote: | | Run to the hills, run for your life. |
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CeasedAnger Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 29 Dec 2008 Posts: 31
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Beat him up so badly he gets a seizure and memory lost.
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Yazu™ How do I cheat?
Reputation: 14
Joined: 24 Oct 2008 Posts: 0
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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| CeasedAnger wrote: | | Beat him up so badly he gets a seizure and memory lost. |
Who the fuck are you.
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SolenDrekia Advanced Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 01 Nov 2008 Posts: 85 Location: A place
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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Dude he should understand hes a guy!
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Leigt
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XoTheNewAznoX Master Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 462
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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you live in ny? and lol.
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Click on the pictures for FREE COOKIES!!! (You know you want to...) JUST CLICK AND EVOLVE |
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Deleted193960 Master Cheater
Reputation: -1
Joined: 03 Jan 2009 Posts: 348
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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ControlAltDelete Friendly Giant
Reputation: 157
Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 2396
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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SON, I AM DISAPPOINT.
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| Shrooms wrote: | | but sadly this is 1984 and western civilization the last ones standing at the top of titanic before it sinks...no matter what you do, they know |
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Alex. I post too much
Reputation: 7
Joined: 15 Dec 2008 Posts: 2383 Location: Canada, Toronto
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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LOLLLLLL'D SO HARD
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Yazu™ How do I cheat?
Reputation: 14
Joined: 24 Oct 2008 Posts: 0
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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Also, who the fuck gets naked, puts on redtube fullscreen, has headphones on, FAPS, while his father is in the house.
I get all fucking james bond even when no one is at home.
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XoTheNewAznoX Master Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 462
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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lol, I have to leave my door open, but I have fast reflexes, so i can switch tabs on mozilla =D and redtube is good site?
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Click on the pictures for FREE COOKIES!!! (You know you want to...) JUST CLICK AND EVOLVE |
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Derrden. Expert Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 25 Nov 2008 Posts: 240 Location: Everywhere.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Olol, I remember this.
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