Cheat Engine

{-}Sketch{-}

A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher Looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you
raise your Hand?'

'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?'

'Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and my dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!'

'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan.

You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time..

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would
you be then?'

'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan.

^-^ · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject:

{-}Sketch{-} · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject:

An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.

They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.

He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a
pint of bitter.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.

When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone.
It's a miracle!'

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.

As he lets Go, the man's eyes widen in shock.

'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'

Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,

'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.

elpacco

{-}Sketch{-} · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject:

I HAZ MOAR !

The ASDA Greeter

A very loud, fat, greasy, unattractive, chav type woman wearing a
Newcastle united top walked into ASDA in Sunderland with her two umpalumpa kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning madam, and welcome to ASDA.

Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'

The ugly fat woman stopped yelling long enough to say,'F*ck hell whye
na, they're not twins yer twat. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the f*ckin ell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, thick, just stupid or just a f*ckin cheese eater?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam,' replied the greeter. 'I just
couldn't believe you've been shagged twice.

Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA.

elpacco · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject:

{-}Sketch{-} · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:42 pm Post subject:

Airport security event

Customs Official : 'May I know your name?'
Passenger : 'Batman'
Customs Official : 'What's your name!?'
Passenger : 'My name is Bat-man'
Customs Official : 'Trying to be funny? What's your surname?'
Passenger : 'Super-man'
Customs Official : 'So you're telling me your name is Batman Superman?'
Passenger : 'Yes'
Customs Official : 'Arrest this guy...
When they had him in custody, he was asked to show his identification card:

And also possibly the best name ever.

(must be the moustache)

if u didnt not smile laugh giggle or chuckle when reading any part of this post you are an emo with no emotion go die pleas