Cheat Engine

[BeastKing]

This came up while playing Halo 3:

A Captain was transfered to another base in Iraq. When he got there, he notice a camel was tied up against a tree. So he ask one of the lieutenant what was it for. He told him that most officers there gets really lonely and there are no women anywhere around so they use it in case.

So one day, the Captain was really horny. He ordered 3 of his men to bring the camel in his tent. 45 minutes later, he came outside his tent zipping up his fly and said "So thats how you do a camel" and the lieutenant replied "Oh no sir, we use it to ride down to the local town to meet other women"

[Hero]

fail

[BeastKing]

k then give me atleast 30-40min to come up with another one

[Hero]

make me laugh funny man

[LolSalad]

Witty, but unfunny.

[BeastKing]

Heres one from the net while I make one myself:

The Piss Scanner

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

[Infamous]

lol

[Hero]

o.o

[MajicPowaz]

Hah, pretty good. (The second joke)

[Drkgodz]

[BeastKing]

I'm not sure exactly but I'm thinking of either a joke about Chruch, Radio Shack or just about my experience of fapping

Edit: Here is my joke and I call it... The Priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[3 hit u]

[BeastKing]

so is the third good?

[MajicPowaz]

[Infamous]

it's okay