Cheat Engine

Koray. · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:30 am Post subject: I lol'd

The first time I masturbated in the shower I didn't really expect my cum to shoot out so fiercely so I wasn't aiming and I let myself ejaculate freely. Unfortunately my accuracy was way off and it shot straight into my left eye! I was crawling around in the shower for at least 20 minutes trying to wash it all out of my eyes.

http://www.masturbationhorror.com/reader.shtml
Keep this thread going and post funny stories you see.

mark_the_hacker · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:35 am Post subject:

zyndr0m · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:35 am Post subject:

they are all in the website.

paulo500 · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:39 am Post subject:

I came home drunk one night and started masturbating in the bathroom. Because I was drunk, I wasn't getting good sensation. I squatted and screwed a burned out light bulb into my ass. When I came I fell backwards and broke the light bulb. It took a lot of straining, digging and tearing to get the metal out of my ass. I bled for two days. I don't use any thing breakable any more.

lol!

Koray. · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:40 am Post subject:

I just started reading that one xD.

I had a sex with a glass coca-cola bottle. It became stuck and wouldn't come off and I realized it was because of vacuum pressure in that bottle caused it to seal inside my pussy. I had the ambulance come to drill a little hole on the pop bottle for it to let some air release and it came off. Never would fuck the damn bottle again. I love any toys beside something like this!

paulo500 · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:47 am Post subject:

When I was younger I wanted to use a condom to wank in. I couldn't get hold of one though. So I thought: CLINGFILM (you might call it sandwich wrapping or Saran Wrap in the U.S)! So I made a nice pocket for my dick in clingfilm. When I put it on it slipped and wasn't tight enough, so I decided to tape it up at the base of my dick. I then got in bed and humped a pillow. Afterwards I went to take it off but it was stuck to my pubes. My pubes were tangled up in sticky tape! I lost a handful pubes (pulled from the roots), before I managed to find a pair of scissors. It is really painful having your pubes ripped clean off.
lol

edit: I thought my straight roommate was going to be gone for the day. He came home early and caught me in HIS bed masturbating in HIS underwear... He moved out shortly thereafter.

Nick :3 · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:59 am Post subject:

xDev · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:32 am Post subject:

Not funny.