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moved back into sober living
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TheIndianGuy
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sephiron wrote:
TheIndianGuy wrote:
Fatchile wrote:
Which sober living are you in?


Treehouse same place I was at for almost 8 months. Right on 19th and Anaheim by the church and in n out. Am gunna be bored as fuck this next month stuck here. I think I need a video game to invest in.


dude, I'm actually proud of you. Stick to it this time. I think the whole reason you relapsed last time is because of your dealer, right? He wanted to smoke u out? Just stay away form those meth heads and stick around your girl or something. Take a vacation somewhere great that you just don't necessarily know where to pick up. Go to like Greece or Greenland or something for a month or so. Idk if my advice is rly gay or something but I can imagine that if you're forced to be occupied with something natural and new it would be hard to fuck up and start doing something you're already used to doing.


no the reason i relapsed is because i didnt keep sobriety as my daily number one priority. i made my job my number one priority. i chose to go to work rather than court ordered rehab. its like how for a normal person every persons number one priority hardwired in their brain before family, etc. is survival. for a drug addict alcohol sobriety equals survival. in our addiction drugs and alcohol our brain starts to believe is equal to survival. thats why drugs n booze become more important than food and water to an addict alcoholic.

as a result i got kicked out of rehab. as a result i got a probation violation which resulted in me getting handcuffed and sent to jail from the probation office. while in jail with only a few months of sobriety, a weak sober foundation, and around a bunch of drugs and drug addicts getting high i fought the temptation. i didnt lie this time going into jail in order to get benzos. then christmas day i was offered some free meth and couldnt turn it down. then i got out of jail stuck on house arrest. first time in years that i havent been on probation no drug testing i could fet high and get away with it. i can finally smoke weed again. but itll just be weed i told myself. weed wasnt enough and i was working. i needed a functional high. meth. yes meth. its perfect for work. but ill just smoke on the days its busy like the weekends and when i have days off so ill only use 2-3 times a week. that turned into every morning before work. wbich turned into all day long while at work in the bathroom during my five min break. then i got off house arrest. rhe initial plan was do my three months in jail and move straight back into my sober living and stay sober. then when i got offered house arrest the plan was to move back into sober living the day i got off house arrest. but because i was already smoking meth and weed eeveryday it was too late. i milked it as long as i could. my parents kept threatening to kick me out if i didnt move into sober living. i gave excuses. they didnt know i was using more than smoking weed and the occasional beer. they allowed me back into their home and i basically shit in their mouths by using in their home behind their backs. but i told them the truth. they were very angry with me.
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Fatchile
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 3:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Relapse is a part of recovery bud and one thing I have learned throughout my stay in recovery is that you can't hate yourself for the mistakes you have made in your past because we are humans and we learn from our mistakes. I know when I worked my 12 steps, I felt better not only as a human being, but I felt better about who I actually was and I am okay being me. If you're serious about your recovery, get that sponsor, works the steps and become proactive. Be of service when you can and link up with a solid group of guys and fuck that Alano Club in Costa Mesa.
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TheIndianGuy
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 3:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeh i know what to do and was doing it and will continue when i get off lockdown. not beating myself up at all. honestly no shame or regret in what ive done. he just asked about my relapse so i gave some insight to the cause of my relapse. the reason i thought about it is because when i moved back in one of the managers asked whats going to be different this time. and this time what will be diff is that im gunna make sobriety my number one. i know they say you have to chanfe everything but im just being honest im not changing everything about myself nor do i believe it necessary to change absolutely everything. im not gunna flush the toilet with the opposite hand.
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