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How do you get to be socially awesome?
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Phox
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:51 am    Post subject: How do you get to be socially awesome? Reply with quote

Last night I had people over until at least 4 or 5 am and I was drinking spiked coffee the whole night. It was a great party. But how do I act so confident without drugs?

It's like there's a little voice in my head telling me, "don't kiss her, she thinks you're a loser" or "these guys are way cooler than you, they don't want you in their conversation"

A few drinks later, the voice is gone.

What is the voice?
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br0l0ck
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you actually being inferior, they actually thinking you're a loser
there wouldn't be a voice if you weren't a terrible person
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deleted19776
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brolock wrote:
you actually being inferior, they actually thinking you're a loser
there wouldn't be a voice if you weren't a terrible person

Good way to bluntly state the reality. Take a good look at yourself and determine where you are in these three terms: Looks, money, and status.
If you are low in these three, Brolock is probably right. You can also possibly suffer the Dunning-Kreuger effect and just lack confidence despite having a good amount of these three. So just take an honest look at yourself and see where you're at in life. The only way to manufacture confidence without actually being a good person is by doing drugs.
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justa_dude
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
How do you get to be socially awesome?

Tight pants.

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potaters
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say the problem started with 'spiked coffee'
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BreakinGods
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's the way it is, all in your head. These things only become true when you start believing in the voices yourself. The doing drugs really is just messing with your head thinking it's making you more fun to be around, but really it's just the feel good part of doing the drug. You can get this same feeling without drugs if you just act on good impulses. Don't just kiss her if you're at a party with a buncha people around though, walk her to a spot where you can be more private. If not you might get rejected just because she feels you only want to show off for your friends.
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justa_dude
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BreakinGods wrote:
It's the way it is, all in your head. ... The doing drugs really is just messing with your head thinking it's making you more fun to be around, but really it's just the feel good part of doing the drug. You can get this same feeling without drugs if you just act on good impulses.


It isn't clear what was in the coffee, but it's a proven fact that alcohol can lower inhibitions. Likewise, an anxious person may perform dramatically better in social situations while on drugs like Valium.

I'm not advocating drug use, but these replies indicating that there's no correlation between the spiked coffee and more relaxed social interactions may not be true. It's pretty common for adults to use alcohol as a social lubricant and I don't find it hard to imagine recreational drug users do the same with other substances.

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cokefag
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

>being insecure
>2015
kek
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deleted19776
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BreakinGods wrote:
It's the way it is, all in your head. These things only become true when you start believing in the voices yourself. The doing drugs really is just messing with your head thinking it's making you more fun to be around, but really it's just the feel good part of doing the drug. You can get this same feeling without drugs if you just act on good impulses. Don't just kiss her if you're at a party with a buncha people around though, walk her to a spot where you can be more private. If not you might get rejected just because she feels you only want to show off for your friends.

You can't just manufacture confidence though. You gotta legitimately have something that you can build your confidence on.
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Phox
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Waxxup wrote:
Brolock wrote:
you actually being inferior, they actually thinking you're a loser
there wouldn't be a voice if you weren't a terrible person

Good way to bluntly state the reality. Take a good look at yourself and determine where you are in these three terms: Looks, money, and status.
If you are low in these three, Brolock is probably right. You can also possibly suffer the Dunning-Kreuger effect and just lack confidence despite having a good amount of these three. So just take an honest look at yourself and see where you're at in life. The only way to manufacture confidence without actually being a good person is by doing drugs.
For the sake of the conversation, let's just assume I'm not a terrible person, or lacking in any of the three categories.

To be clear, this was a party at my apartment, and my roommate and I invited 10 people who all showed up. I'm referring to the kind of social situation where everything's cool and you know everyone well. No reason to be nervous or worried about other people. But there's still that voice that says "they think that you talk too slowly" or "you're wasting everyone's time".

I think I subconsciously think that I am an asshole.
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br0l0ck
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that voice is your "other" its your outside vision of yourself, its the truth. the "I" and your actually self is two different things. theirs your image of yourself and the image people have of you, both are "you" and are equal. the reason you have that voice is because you're disconnected from yourself and what you think people perceive you as.

you have to recognize this and bring these two separate things into a single entity which is your true identity.
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Phox
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brolock wrote:
that voice is your "other" its your outside vision of yourself, its the truth. the "I" and your actually self is two different things. theirs your image of yourself and the image people have of you, both are "you" and are equal. the reason you have that voice is because you're disconnected from yourself and what you think people perceive you as.

you have to recognize this and bring these two separate things into a single entity which is your true identity.
Thanks.
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Fatchile
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone has social anxiety to an extent and anyone to tell you they don't would be a fucking liar.
Just pull out your penis every now and again and remind them who has the biggest dick of them all.

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cokefag
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

>not being yourself
>2015
haha what the fuck you loser
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Antagonist
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Confidence comes from doing dope shit repeatedly
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