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TheIndianGuy
Advanced Cheater
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
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 Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 9:49 pm Post subject: fuck |
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| i hate this court ordered outpatient rehab. im super exhausted from working 35 hrs a week nights. then i have trouble sleeping and want to sleep in. but nope i have to go to my outpatient rehab which takes three hrs round trip by bus plus being there total of five hrs. along with them wanting me to go to an aa meeting daily which there isnt time for. and because i couldnt do that they discharged me from my outpatient which was court ordered. and now i dont know whats going to happen when i go to court on the 15th. maybe i wont have to keep doing it maybe ill have to start over or do another or maybe go to jail. |
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Negima
I post too much
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Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 2221
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| Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:08 pm Post subject: Re: fuck |
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| TheIndianGuy wrote: | | i hate this court ordered outpatient rehab. im super exhausted from working 35 hrs a week nights. then i have trouble sleeping and want to sleep in. but nope i have to go to my outpatient rehab which takes three hrs round trip by bus plus being there total of five hrs. along with them wanting me to go to an aa meeting daily which there isnt time for. and because i couldnt do that they discharged me from my outpatient which was court ordered. and now i dont know whats going to happen when i go to court on the 15th. maybe i wont have to keep doing it maybe ill have to start over or do another or maybe go to jail. |
why not just move somewhere and start over new |
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TheIndianGuy
Advanced Cheater
Reputation: 102
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
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| Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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| yeah, that's not how it works. i'd haev a warrant out for my arrest. legally not allowed to leave the county. and if i did wherever i go i'd have a warrant. plus i have no where to go. your idea sounds retarded even if i didn't have all this legal shit to deal with. it'll be over in a few months hopefully. |
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Negima
I post too much
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Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 2221
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| Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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| TheIndianGuy wrote: | | yeah, that's not how it works. i'd haev a warrant out for my arrest. legally not allowed to leave the county. and if i did wherever i go i'd have a warrant. plus i have no where to go. your idea sounds retarded even if i didn't have all this legal shit to deal with. it'll be over in a few months hopefully. |
all im saying is its clear that your current situation isnt what you want your life to be like and judging from your posts this has been your life for some time. |
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Nirojan
How do I cheat?
 Reputation: 108
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 0
Location: seshville
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| Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
| Quote: | | yo i b 22 tryna make it in dis rap game but da steetz dont got luv for no wun na mean so im out hea tryna holla at da fams on dis innernet shit u no way i sayin |
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TheIndianGuy
Advanced Cheater
Reputation: 102
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 1:09 am Post subject: |
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| Negima wrote: | | TheIndianGuy wrote: | | yeah, that's not how it works. i'd haev a warrant out for my arrest. legally not allowed to leave the county. and if i did wherever i go i'd have a warrant. plus i have no where to go. your idea sounds retarded even if i didn't have all this legal shit to deal with. it'll be over in a few months hopefully. |
all im saying is its clear that your current situation isnt what you want your life to be like and judging from your posts this has been your life for some time. |
yeh i don't have a choice. there are consequences to my past. i have to go through this shit in order to have that freedom and a better life unfortunately. otherwise i'll be stuck in this cycle forever. and i'm just really good at fucking shit up and making my situation worse and it looks like i've done it again. even when i'm staying sober it happens. it's just too much for me personally to handle both a normal life and all this court stuff on top of it. i could do one or the other. but i don't want to not make any progress in life while doing the court stuff. |
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br0l0ck
Cheater
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Joined: 15 Aug 2007
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:28 am Post subject: |
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just do some heroin to take the edge off and listen to this song
youtube.com/watch?v=KEXO15RX36Y
| Quote: | Sun so bright that I'm nearly blind
Cool, 'cause I'm wired and I'm out of my mind
Warm as the dope running down my spine
But I don't care 'bout you,
and I got nothin' to do
Free as the water and air that I breathe
Even freer than DMT
Feel the warmth of the sun in me
But I don't care 'bout you,
and I got nothin' to do
Love in the middle of the afternoon
Just me and my spike in my arm and my spoon
Feel the warmth of the sun in the room
But I don't care about you
And I got nothin'
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M.
Master Cheater
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Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 267
Location: wat
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:32 am Post subject: |
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| Exhausted from working 35h a week nights? Please. |
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TheIndianGuy
Advanced Cheater
Reputation: 102
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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| M. wrote: | | Exhausted from working 35h a week nights? Please. |
no you didnt even read my post properly. that alone is fine. but adding aa meetings, daily, meeting with my sponsor once or twice a week for hours at a time. doing step work in spare time for hours a day multiple days a week. five hrs for my rehab multiple days a week and difficulty sleeping at a resonable hr when i get home at midnight or one a.m. and unable to sleep til 3-4 a.m. often laying in bed for hrs before falling asleep. going o see my probation officer each week takes like five hrs going to psychiatrist appointments each week always takes at least two hrs of waiting never on time plus i have to take the bus everywhere that should be a ten min car ride ends up being over an hr or up to two hrs one way. then three mandatory house meetings. then wanting time for myself to have some fun. i never get a break.
if you add everything up in a week on top of how much sleep my body personally needs without getting burnt out n being able to function i have an hr n a half max free time any given day of the week. many days right when i et off work i go straight to rehab or vice versa rehab home change straight to work. only time i have is after midnight. |
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M.
Master Cheater
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Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 267
Location: wat
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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| TheIndianGuy wrote: | | M. wrote: | | Exhausted from working 35h a week nights? Please. |
no you didnt even read my post properly. that alone is fine. but adding aa meetings, daily, meeting with my sponsor once or twice a week for hours at a time. doing step work in spare time for hours a day multiple days a week. five hrs for my rehab multiple days a week and difficulty sleeping at a resonable hr when i get home at midnight or one a.m. and unable to sleep til 3-4 a.m. often laying in bed for hrs before falling asleep. going o see my probation officer each week takes like five hrs going to psychiatrist appointments each week always takes at least two hrs of waiting never on time plus i have to take the bus everywhere that should be a ten min car ride ends up being over an hr or up to two hrs one way. then three mandatory house meetings. then wanting time for myself to have some fun. i never get a break.
if you add everything up in a week on top of how much sleep my body personally needs without getting burnt out n being able to function i have an hr n a half max free time any given day of the week. many days right when i et off work i go straight to rehab or vice versa rehab home change straight to work. only time i have is after midnight. |
Good. The whole point is not to give you a chance to do more stupid shit |
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ControlAltDelete
Friendly Giant
 Reputation: 157
Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 2396
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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my inpatient rehab/detox/sober house .... any of those 3 sound more hardcore than what you're doing, we didnt get ANY time to ourselves, no chance to even get on a computer to post on CEF to complain about it
_________________
| Shrooms wrote: | | but sadly this is 1984 and western civilization the last ones standing at the top of titanic before it sinks...no matter what you do, they know |
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TheIndianGuy
Advanced Cheater
Reputation: 102
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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| ControlAltDelete wrote: | | my inpatient rehab/detox/sober house .... any of those 3 sound more hardcore than what you're doing, we didnt get ANY time to ourselves, no chance to even get on a computer to post on CEF to complain about it |
yeh but thats all you had to do. if my only reaponsibility was my recovery and rehab id be fine. i could do that. but i have rent to pay i need to save up money there are requirements at this house to live at.
ive been in lockdown rehabs where you get up at six a.m. seven days a week groups all day with ten min breaks then get yo sober living at 9 p.m. to shower eat and woek on assignments due the next day so ive done that too and it was easier.
but trying to progress in life too, wanting to go back to school, wanting to learn to drive would take up more time.
im just mad i got discharged from my rehab for not being perfect. |
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potaters
Grandmaster Cheater
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Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Posts: 969
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| M. wrote: | | TheIndianGuy wrote: | | M. wrote: | | Exhausted from working 35h a week nights? Please. |
no you didnt even read my post properly. that alone is fine. but adding aa meetings, daily, meeting with my sponsor once or twice a week for hours at a time. doing step work in spare time for hours a day multiple days a week. five hrs for my rehab multiple days a week and difficulty sleeping at a resonable hr when i get home at midnight or one a.m. and unable to sleep til 3-4 a.m. often laying in bed for hrs before falling asleep. going o see my probation officer each week takes like five hrs going to psychiatrist appointments each week always takes at least two hrs of waiting never on time plus i have to take the bus everywhere that should be a ten min car ride ends up being over an hr or up to two hrs one way. then three mandatory house meetings. then wanting time for myself to have some fun. i never get a break.
if you add everything up in a week on top of how much sleep my body personally needs without getting burnt out n being able to function i have an hr n a half max free time any given day of the week. many days right when i et off work i go straight to rehab or vice versa rehab home change straight to work. only time i have is after midnight. |
Good. The whole point is not to give you a chance to do more stupid shit |
lolyes |
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