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Fafaffy Cheater
Reputation: 65
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 28
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:17 pm Post subject: Most ridiculous English assignment I was assigned |
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So I was told to make a recipe of making a peanut butter jelly sandwich in essay form (intro, body, conclusion), and told us to be specific. Tomorrow I get to repeat this process, but with a waffle . Here's my final result:
inb4terriblegrammar
inb4terribleessay
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The materials for creating a peanut butter jelly sandwich will remain constant no matter who is creating it. First, you’re going to need a human capable of moving their arms (2 count), this is critical for properly applying the peanut butter and jelly. Next, you’re going to want a table (1 count), or a surface on which you can place ingredients needed to make this meal. Now you’ll need a plate (1) in which the meal will reside, as well as a butter knife (1 count - with a working, unbroken handle) to properly apply the peanut butter, and jelly. Paper towels (1 roll) will be near essential if you hate making a mess. After you have the above, you’ll need a jar of jelly, and a jar of peanut butter. Finally, you’ll need a loaf of bread (with at least 2 undamaged slices of bread) to make the sandwich.
Once you acquired the ingredients listed above, you’ll need to start by placing your human right in front of the table, and have all the ingredients out of the way, but reachable. Once you’re at the table, start by placing down a plate right in front of you. Next, open your loaf of bread (if not already opened), and take out the two undamaged slices of bread; place the slices of bread on the plate. Next, close the loaf of bread and store it away. Afterwards, open the jar of jelly and the jar of peanut butter, and place the lids in a place that it won’t be in the way. Grab your butter knife, and carefully dip your knife into the jar of peanut butter. Get only enough peanut butter where it fills half of the blade of the butter knife. Once you got the peanut butter, bring the butter knife to the first slice of your bread, and evenly spread the peanut butter. Repeat this until you have enough peanut butter on your slice of bread. Now, you may want to clean your knife with a paper towel so you don’t put peanut butter in your jar of jelly. Once cleaned, dip your knife into the jar of jelly grabbing only enough to fill half of your butter knife, and apply it evenly on your other slice of bread. Repeat this step until you have reached a satisfactory level of jelly. Once you’re done, clean your butter knife with a paper towel, and put the knife away. Now, you’re going to want to put the lids back onto your peanut butter jar and jelly jar, and store it away. Now, grab your slice of bread (with the peanut butter), and put it on top of your other slice of bread (with the peanut butter facing the jelly). Once it’s on top, compress the two slices of bread and enjoy your delicious sandwich.
Once you’re done doing the following, you should have a nice peanut butter jelly sandwich waiting for you on top of a plate, with all other ingredients ready to be stored away. Your peanut butter and jelly sandwich should be evenly spread with no jelly or peanut butter leaking off the sides, or any mess made. Last but not least, you should have a couple of dirty paper towels that could be used to clean your mess, or simply thrown away at this point. Congratulations, you created your amazing peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
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Mi/c/healRein How do I cheat?
Reputation: 24
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 0 Location: Louisiana
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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This is stupid
_________________
 
 | [SSCA]Nevergreen wrote: | | Somebody warm me up with their body, preferably MichealRein without pants on. |
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:^) Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
Reputation: 37
Joined: 30 Jun 2008 Posts: 1062
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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damn that is erotic
you should write some literotica
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br0l0ck Cheater
Reputation: 63
Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 36
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:20 am Post subject: |
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| should have written it from the perspective of the pb&j
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Cryoma Member of the Year
Reputation: 198
Joined: 14 Jan 2009 Posts: 1819
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| mfw this is a less stupid prompt than the SAT
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Slugsnack Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 24 Jan 2007 Posts: 1857
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:15 am Post subject: |
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| 2/12
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emil Expert Cheater
Reputation: 41
Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 239
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| this is comical
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br0l0ck Cheater
Reputation: 63
Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 36
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:32 am Post subject: |
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TO CREATE A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH, YOU MUST FIRST CREATE THE UNIVERSE
teacher woulda gave u a A+ and sucked your dick bro
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Kurifodo I post too much
Reputation: 23
Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 2782
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:40 am Post subject: |
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lol shoulda elaborated the fuck out of it
First you need peanut butter, insert lengthy explanation on how peanut butter is made and arrives at your house whole process
same for jelly
then explain how your brain processes the movement of hand to spread ingredients
after you finish your 48 paged troll win and lose at the same time because you spent all that time typing it out
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Cryoma Member of the Year
Reputation: 198
Joined: 14 Jan 2009 Posts: 1819
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 11:40 am Post subject: |
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| Shoulda gone sherlock holmes on that shit and predicted everything before you did it.
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Zacky Grandmaster Cheater
Reputation: 19
Joined: 23 Nov 2008 Posts: 808
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:44 am Post subject: |
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As interesting as that is, I'm not sure if you hit the mark on this assignment...
The intro is supposed to have a hook and a thesis. It shouldn't contain any instruction on the requirements or the process. You should simply be explaining what the essay is going to be about.
The body should be in multiple paragraphs, not just one. Each paragraph of the body should have a different subtopic, i.e. the materials required for one, and an explanation of the process of making it as the second, and perhaps a third paragraph of what it could be used for/how it should be consumed/how the finished product should be dealt with.
The conclusion should not contain any new information. You should simply be reiterating what you've already said, but in several sentences. Then to finish, perhaps you could write what you hope the future will hold/what the world will become due to a complete run-through of the entire process.
This assignment seems to simply test your ability to properly structure an essay, as opposed to your creativity in the making a sandwich.
Additionally, essays that require an intro, body, and conclusion are typically supposed to be written in 3rd person (no "you", "I", "we", "us", etc). The only exception to this is the conclusion.
It's up to you if you want to take my word for it. I know you don't really want to because you're already done though. You don't have to, but I highly recommend that you do. Nonetheless, I'm quite interested in the mark you get for this. Would you be alright with letting us know later? Or just me if you prefer to keep it private. I'm not one to judge. I'm just curious.
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Cryoma Member of the Year
Reputation: 198
Joined: 14 Jan 2009 Posts: 1819
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:08 am Post subject: |
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| Zacky wrote: | As interesting as that is, I'm not sure if you hit the mark on this assignment...
The intro is supposed to have a hook and a thesis. It shouldn't contain any instruction on the requirements or the process. You should simply be explaining what the essay is going to be about.
The body should be in multiple paragraphs, not just one. Each paragraph of the body should have a different subtopic, i.e. the materials required for one, and an explanation of the process of making it as the second, and perhaps a third paragraph of what it could be used for/how it should be consumed/how the finished product should be dealt with.
The conclusion should not contain any new information. You should simply be reiterating what you've already said, but in several sentences. Then to finish, perhaps you could write what you hope the future will hold/what the world will become due to a complete run-through of the entire process.
This assignment seems to simply test your ability to properly structure an essay, as opposed to your creativity in the making a sandwich.
Additionally, essays that require an intro, body, and conclusion are typically supposed to be written in 3rd person (no "you", "I", "we", "us", etc). The only exception to this is the conclusion.
It's up to you if you want to take my word for it. I know you don't really want to because you're already done though. You don't have to, but I highly recommend that you do. Nonetheless, I'm quite interested in the mark you get for this. Would you be alright with letting us know later? Or just me if you prefer to keep it private. I'm not one to judge. I'm just curious. |
Honestly I don't think any teacher that would give this prompt can be taken seriously, but in general you're right.
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