Cheat Engine

[Saric]

first one to make me laugh gets rep

[Maes]

ur face

[Channel GannoK]

You call your boss trying to take the day off by saying

"what's the difference between your sister and this morning?"

"I'm not coming in this morning"

[Bisa]

[br0l0ck]

>Dude, when the waitress gets here ask for the super salad.
>Fine, I like salad.
>Hi i'm a stupid cunt would you like the soup or salad?
>Yeah.
--
Well, I don't feel good about it. Here's the story. My neighbor asked me if I could watch her daughter. I knew that her daughter was mentally challenged, but I had never seen her really, aside from her walking around in her front yard.
So, I say yes, as I am promised 45 dollars to watch her for a couple hours. Skip forward a bit...

She was just sort of sitting on the couch, then she got on her hands and knees and started crawling around. My initial reaction is "Shit, is this normal? What do I do?" Then I notice something that makes me feel sick. She had a pretty nice ass. Like, her body looks amazing, and her face isn't that bad, just kinda blank and stupid looking. Anyways, I watch her crawl around, feeling sort of bad about it, when she lies on her back. At this point, I've got it in my head. "No one will know". So, she got back on the couch, and I put my hand between her legs. She sort of flinched, then eased up, so I continued. Next thing you know, I have her bent over the dining room table.

Like I said, I don't feel good about this. I just thought I'd share. I could go into more detail if requested. And for all you moralfags, I realize what I did was wrong, and I apologize. I truly do. But put yourselves in my shoes. There's a pretty decent looking woman here who you can have sex with, with no consequences, no strings, nothing. Also, she's only 15. I'm 18.

TL;DR. I was supposed to babysit a mentally challenged girl. Me and the mentally challenged girl had sex.
--
>kmartfag for about a year
I've had a ton of weird and annoying customers. Too many to name, and I don't feel like posting all of them even though they do make good stories. Weirdest one by far though (100% true).
>huge guy walks into store
>disgustingly obese
>seriously, hes really fucking fat
>no really, hes fat as fuck
>creepy handlebar mustache and big thick rapist glasses
>walks over to the electric wheelchair/scooter
>sits in it
>cant figure out how to use
>starts screaming for help
>i come over and show the fat fuck how to use it
>he rides away onto the softline half of the store (clothing part that i dont work in)
>breakroom is in back corner by softlines
>want to take a break
>start heading for break room
>see girl who works in softlines
>shes hunched over next to a rack of clothes
>i ask what shes doing
>she motions for me to be quiet
>i look over at what shes looking at
>fat dude in power scooter smelling women's bra's and panties
>hes smelling them very loudly
>hes hyper ventilating
>hes rubbing them all over his face
>he starts to shove them under his clothes
>we dont do anything
>he puts about 4 or 5 pairs of underwear under his clothes
>his rides off out of the store
>we dont stop him
>mfw
---
>98 year old man comes to the zoo,
>asks me "ever see a quarter screwin' a penny?"
>I reply "No",
>Man pulls out of his pocket: a quarter, a screw, and a penny.
>WTF just happened?
---
Sheldon?
>Audience chuckles in anticipation
What are you doing?
>One man bursts out laughing, hits his head on the ceiling and faints
Playing Super Mario 64
>An uproar of laughter, audience members die from suffocation. The audacity attracts people from blocks away to laugh.
on a poorly coded emulator.
>The outbursts of laughter reach critical mass. Dimensional rifts appear and indescribable things pour into our reality. The head-bursting volume of the otherworldly sounds of what was once laughter start to chaotically disintegrate the surroundings. Time begins to warp and skip. People spontaneously die of old age while others turn inside-out. The rifts begin to swell and grow. Antimatter invades every atom of the things it comes in contact with. The pillars that hold the universe together begin to crumble and wither from the ungodly vacuum. Space itself rips apart and the boundaries of matter leak. As this nightmare of Newton unfolds, the world as we know it gruesomely warps and twists into ever smaller shreds before being instantaneously torn apart into nothingness. The corruption of being has unfolded everything that was and would have been, and the very idea of anything existing becomes a madman's ramble.

"Hey Sheldon, wanna see the new Harry Potter movie?"
>The audience chuckles nervously
"No, Harry Potter is for children. I prefer realistic and dramatic films, such as Star Wars."
>The audience laughs heartily
"Luke, I am your father!"
>The audience begins laughing so hard they burst into flame and their lungs explode. They start pissing themselves from laughter, which fails to put out the flames but makes everything smell like burnt hair and urine. An older gentleman has a heart attack and dies on the floor, burning and covered in piss. The earth trembles below the studio, opening a gaping crack into the underbelly of the earth. Several members of the audience are dragged into the blackness, laughing so hard blood spills from their mouths as they descend into the molten core of the earth, smashing into the rock as they fall. The continued laughter echoes off the rock, causing the largest known earthquake in history, crippling the powergrids of several of the world's major cities, pIunging humankind into darkness for weeks. Martial law is called into effect as the riots increase in size and aggressiveness. As food begins to run out, haIf of the world's populace is dead, with the survivors now resorting to cannibalism and subsistence farming.

[Gypsy++]

RHINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[InternetIsSeriousBusiness]

It's ironic when OP says: "first one to make me laugh gets rep", and every active random spam faggot comes in and posts something very stupid.

[br0l0ck]

[Hai]

f5

[Saric]

[Oblivious]

what would happen if your donkey ate my rooster's two feet?

you'd have two feet of my cock in your ass