Cheat Engine

[TheMahen]

Subject: A Nun's Story
A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers: "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be a Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child." said the nun, "Why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and a I'm a Baptist." The nun says, "That's OK, I am on the way to a Halloween party, and my name is Kevin."





Subject: The Science Of Beer
Yesterday, scientists at the USDA suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer is turning men into women. To test the theory, 100 men were each fed six pints of beer. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.






Subject: Country Doctor
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old son.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so.

The mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

The little boy responded: "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again."






Subject: Inappropriate Class Projects
A class of elementary students wanted to make a planter to take home and to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so it was decided to use cactus plants. The students planted the cactus seeds in the planters, and the cacti grew nicely but, unfortunately, the kids were not allowed to take them home.

The cactus plants were removed and replaced with small ivy plants. The children were then allowed to take their planters home.

It seemed like a good idea at the time










A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?" The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm blonde, six feet tall, 210 lbs, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. The blonde woman sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 220 lbs, and she's an ex-professional wrestler. Next to her is a blonde who's 6'5", weighs 250 lbs, and she's a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?" The guy thinks about it a second and says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."



There is many more, I'm sure you're lazy to read xD
Btw, I leeched >.<