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Xanatos
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 Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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=D
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Blank
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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Cx
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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I wouldn't end it with an adjective- it gives that abrupt end feel. Plus, you don't want to say that the dominant trait is is narcissistic- that would be describing the word "trait". You'd want to say that the dominant trait is narcissism (you get the point).
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Xanatos
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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A quick check of what I've got so far. Anything you'd change in it?
Edit: At Cx, I'm using a different word now, since its more general.
The dominant trait of the character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, is conceited. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type of character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file.
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Blank
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Xanatos wrote: | A quick check of what I've got so far. Anything you'd change in it?
The dominant trait of the character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, is conceited. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing, something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file. |
First sentence ends abruptly.
The quote you are trying to use does not support you well.
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Xanatos
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Blank wrote: | | Xanatos wrote: | A quick check of what I've got so far. Anything you'd change in it?
The dominant trait of the character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, is conceited. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing, something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file. |
First sentence ends abruptly.
The quote you are trying to use does not support you well. |
I don't remember much ._.
But I do agree for the first sentence, I need help on that x(
How's this for a change?
| Quote: | | The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. |
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Blank
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Xanatos wrote: | | Blank wrote: | | Xanatos wrote: | A quick check of what I've got so far. Anything you'd change in it?
The dominant trait of the character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, is conceited. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing, something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file. |
First sentence ends abruptly.
The quote you are trying to use does not support you well. |
I don't remember much ._.
But I do agree for the first sentence, I need help on that x(
How's this for a change?
| Quote: | | The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. |
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Sounds better.
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Xanatos
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Kay now for part 2....
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Cx
Master Cheater
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Just go to fucking sparknotes.
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Xanatos
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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Lolkay!!
I totally forgot about that place! My sister used to go on it, and she got a 94/5% average in grade 12 @_@
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Aniblaze
Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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What's going on?  |
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Xanatos
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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Heyy
This is my english assignment this time. This is what I got.
The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type of character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file.
The effect of this trait on the story is that it is an essential part of the crisis. Klutter Kobra’s narcissism resulted in him acting arrogant, in front of Priscilla, which contributed to her anger towards him. <insert quote>.
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Blank
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Xanatos wrote: | Heyy
This is my english assignment this time. This is what I got.
The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type of character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file.
The effect of this trait on the story is that it is an essential part of the crisis. Klutter Kobra’s narcissism resulted in him acting arrogant, in front of Priscilla, which contributed to her anger towards him. <insert quote>. |
Try to find a better quote to support your focal point and it'll look mint.
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Aniblaze
Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Xanatos wrote: | Heyy
This is my english assignment this time. This is what I got.
The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type of character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file.
The effect of this trait on the story is that it is an essential part of the crisis. Klutter Kobra’s narcissism resulted in him acting arrogant, in front of Priscilla, which contributed to her anger towards him. <insert quote>. |
Spelling errors are taking out later on I assume?
Anyway, what exactly would you want me to do with that little story? Buff it up with words nobody would ever understand? |
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Blank
I post too much
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Ani wrote: | | Xanatos wrote: | Heyy
This is my english assignment this time. This is what I got.
The character Klutter Kobra, from the story “Priscilla and the Wimps” by <insert name>, has a conceited personality. This trait helps constitute Klutter Kobra’s exploitative orientation. People with this type of character orientation tend do whatever they can to get what they want; even if it includes stealing something from somebody else just to get it. For example, Klutter Kobra’s appearance is tailored to make him appear tougher then he really is. <Insert quote of describing him cutting his nails with a knife>. This quote shows how he would consciously take the time to give himself “a manicure” with a knife, instead of the intended tools, a nail cutter and file.
The effect of this trait on the story is that it is an essential part of the crisis. Klutter Kobra’s narcissism resulted in him acting arrogant, in front of Priscilla, which contributed to her anger towards him. <insert quote>. |
Spelling errors are taking out later on I assume?
Anyway, what exactly would you want me to do with that little story? Buff it up with words nobody would ever understand? |
He wants to see if it could be presented in a better way.
Also, make sure it is free of gramatical errors and sounds.. good.
Spelling errors will be handled later.
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