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InternetIsSeriousBusiness

Today was one of the worst days ever.

It was all going good when I watched a movie with my gf, then we went back to her house and made out. We made out for a few minutes and then SHE ASKED to have sex! Remember we are both virgins. I have been trying to *hint* it to her that I want for to have sex with me for months, but she always declined. This was like once in a million chances. Well we got all of our clothes off and she asked for a condom. I was like "condom?" Then she was like "I am not having a baby, I will not fuck if I don't have one". I was like "SHIT!" in my head but I kept my cool. We put her clothes back on and it was rather awkward staying at her house after that so I left.

I was pissed as fuck. I went home and punched the wall as hard as a I could. I had no idea that I was about to break my middle knuckle on a stud (board) in the wall. I have no insurance to go to the hospital.

So yeah, I still remain a virgin, I broke my knuckle, I am pissed, and I have a hole in the wall. What a happy day!

PS: I am typing this with my left hand.

ControlAltDelete

ControlAltDelete · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:58 pm Post subject:

InternetIsSeriousBusiness · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:59 pm Post subject:

potaters · Last edited by potaters on Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

ControlAltDelete · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:00 pm Post subject:

Phox · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:04 pm Post subject:

Is this a copypasta? I feel like I've seen this before.

If this is real, shot, you are fucking stupid. Not that we didn't know that already.

Kurifodo

Maes · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:23 pm Post subject:

so your girlfriend was actually the wall????
@Resume: you thought he was serious?

InternetIsSeriousBusiness · Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:56 pm Post subject:

Kargarok · Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:35 am Post subject:

so your mad because she wants a condom
holy fuck just go play in the middle of a highway you fucking tard

Slugsnack · Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:03 am Post subject:

First, don't take sex advice from Tyler the level 198 virgin. don't keep condoms in your wallet. The only people I know who do this is desperate guys who are ready to fuck some easy slut at the club.

If you have a gf you shouldn't have to do the wallet shit. That is opportunistic and reflects badly on you. Keep some round your place and just do it there. Idk why she doesn't wanna do it yet but you waiting around until she gives the okay is not the way to go.

Best step is to make her comfortable about it, which doesn't mean degrade yourself by putting her on a pedestal. Just don't make it out to be a big deal (which it is not) and eventually she'll see it that way too. A huge deterrence at this stage is she is expecting it to be some amazing thing it's not and that's why it's so important. The concept this is some flower she'll lose forever and it has to be perfect. A myth constantly perpetuated by idiots and level 198 virgins. If you wanna get some you're gonna have to knock that kinda shit right out of her head. Fuck, it's a privilege she is allowed to suck your dick. There are a tonne of other girls begging to do it with you and to be in her position. But you're with her cause you like her for who she is. So she shouldn't feel insecure, but she should feel grateful and appreciative. A little insecure is always good. Helps keep her keen and on her toes. Be her little bitch and that will be the status quo forever. This is not 'different' for some particular girl. It is a general rule of people that they will do whatever they can get away with it. It might not start like that but eventually she'll take you for granted. She should know how many girls you've been with and how highly sought after you are. She'll wanna do extra shit to keep you.

:^( · Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:26 am Post subject:

what the fuck is so complicated/infuriating just carry a condom next time you're with her if it's not at your own house and stop getting beat up by inanimate objects

the the the · Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:27 am Post subject:

:^( · Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:28 am Post subject:

And don't be like my friend from whom we received a slightly panicky phonecall claiming the "condom was stuck on" because the retard forced it on backwards which I can't even comprehend as a mistake because I accidentally tried to put one on backwards once and it was sort of painful to try and push it on in the seconds I didn't realize my mistake