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Coldie ;]
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 Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:39 pm Post subject: This is the prelude to my 15 page story for English. |
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| Code: | "Do not worry." he said as he held the gun to my face. As his finger slid around the trigger like a horn of death calling, I knew
right then and there that my life would end. However, what happened next, would be far from what my imagination could take me.
There was a subtle sound, and then darkness. It felt as if my body was drowning. Flowing away from the earth.
Slowly realizing what I haven't done; what I should have done. All of sudden, as a flash of light, I awoke in an area I wasn't familiar with.
I thought to myself, is this heaven? Is this what happens when you finally are gone from the world? As my eyes adjusted to this bright odd place, I realized I wasn't alone.
"HELLO?" I screamed with impatience. "HELLO, IS ANYONE THERE?"
A voice in the distance answered with my name. "Rebecca... Henderson..."
"Who are you? What is this place? Where am I?! How do you know my name?!" I said intrigued.
"You ask to many questions, Rebecca Henderson. That is why you are here. You are a talker, not a listener. You feel the need to become, not witness. That is why you are here. As you arrived to this place
did you think it was Heaven or Hell? Did you assume that it was rather odd that you weren't just gone? Lifeless? No mind? Ahahahaa... you see, Rebecca, I can read your mind.
I am not a God, I am not Satan. I am what you were. A human. However, I'm a human that decided to listen, and not talk."
"Human? If you're Human why am I here?"
"Because, Rebecca, you sought to be here."
A loud pierceing sound happened instantly. And I was naked inside of a tube, moving quickly around, dashing corners. It seemed as if my strength was being sapped all away.
I felt for the second time, death was coming. However I wasn't afraid. |
Sound good?
Last edited by Coldie ;] on Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:43 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Oblivious
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Piercing. |
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Simon :v
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Too. |
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Coldie ;]
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Oblivious wrote: | | Piercing. |
It was written in notepad, it's so rough. |
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Oblivious
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Also, I personally think 'the horn of death', sounds better than 'a horn of death'. I don't have to much to say on the story itself, other than the fact that it looks pretty good to me. |
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Coldie ;]
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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There's a twist, and I hope you guys kinda realized it.
I had hoped in the biggest quote over there came off as being 'bad'.
But it really isn't.
The person telling her shit is going to be someone, not sure yet, but this someone will be a 'listener', someone that was a follower in their lifetime.
The reason that she's being judged by this guy is because she's not a follower, she's someone with a mind that has power.
It's got a whole meaning behind it. |
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the the the
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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| damn |
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