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Baron von Munchausen Master Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 424
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:31 am Post subject: Things that brought tears of laughter to your face. |
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sweet17: Hi
Bloodninja: hello
Bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
Bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
Bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
Bloodninja: This s**t is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a f**king break
Bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
Bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.
Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are f**king sick.
Bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: F**k you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE!
Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
Bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
Bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go f**k yourself
Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: F((K YOU!!!
Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
Bloodninja: Wait a sec
Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
Bloodninja: You heard me.
Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
Bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
Bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
Bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Bloodninja: ok?
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
Bloodninja: ...still limp
Bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole.
Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!!
Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...
Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!!
Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja: ...going limp again.
Bloodninja: Hello?
Bloodninja: Say it!
Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
Im a real big fan of bloodninja for this.
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| Krue wrote: | | I LOVE MY COCK. |
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Dankcannabis Cheater
Reputation: 1
Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Posts: 39
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:38 am Post subject: |
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| haahah lol amazing deserves +reps
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Cheat Engine User Something epic
Reputation: 61
Joined: 22 Jun 2007 Posts: 2071
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:40 am Post subject: |
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| This is where I got my GOING LIMP from
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Baron von Munchausen Master Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 424
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:41 am Post subject: |
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I always wonder if they're faked and he just spent nights writing it up because I've never ever seen anyone be that hilarious at a whim.
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| Krue wrote: | | I LOVE MY COCK. |
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ControlAltDelete Friendly Giant
Reputation: 157
Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 2396
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:52 am Post subject: |
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OP, I love you.
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| Shrooms wrote: | | but sadly this is 1984 and western civilization the last ones standing at the top of titanic before it sinks...no matter what you do, they know |
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Stylised Grandmaster Cheater
Reputation: 20
Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 712
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:52 am Post subject: |
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| Hilarious, but old.
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Baron von Munchausen Master Cheater
Reputation: 0
Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 424
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:03 am Post subject: |
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Sounds egotistical I know but I find myself funny as shit at times.
| Code: | Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: asl?
You: Who is this?
You: I'm 12 years old and what is this
Stranger: ok
Stranger: 18 little you
Stranger: where are you from?
You: Demon Cocks
You: CAN YOU FEEL THE BARBED DANGER
Stranger: whats that?
You: EVEN THE SUN HIDES FROM THE DARKNESS THAT IS DEMON COCKCS
Stranger: come on....
You: YOU SCREAM IN AGONY AS DEMON COCKS TEAR UP EVERY INCH OF YOUR FACE
You: IN THE DISTANCE YOU HEAR WOMEN SCREAM
Stranger: what's your problem?
You: FOR THEY KNOW
You: THE POWER AND MIGHT
You: OF DEMON COCKS
You: I'm spent.
Stranger: is it a lyric of a song?
You: The song of me jacking off yes.
Stranger: come on baby,what's your problem?
You: I'm 42 years old and 400 pounds
Stranger: cool
You: I often have to clean my ass folds of dingle berries
You: and sperm
Stranger: what does that mean?
You: It means I have shit on my ass and am unfit to take care of myself
Stranger: ooh
You: When i sit down liquad shit squirts from the large number of folds around my ass cheeks
Stranger: sorry to hear that
You: often I find dead animals sufficated inside my belly folds
Stranger: are there anyone help you
You: It took me 6 hours to find my penis
Stranger: er......
Stranger: you're lying ,ok
You: Lying in a puddle of my shit and fat yes
You: when I move around alot my body releases shit gas from the folds
You: and it smells awful
Stranger: are you serious?
You: this helps me get hard
You: I just vomited on my keyboard a bit
You: it smells like bad turkey
You: and shit out my ass
Stranger: what
Stranger: the hell is going on?
You: Nothing
You: Except my body slowly decaying
You: under the dried layers of shit
You: and vomit
You: and sperm
You: infact im jerking off right now
You: even though I'm not sure im jerking off my penis
Stranger: why is it happening?
You: TOUCH THE PART OF ME IM JERKING OFF
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
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| Krue wrote: | | I LOVE MY COCK. |
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jongwee Moderator
Reputation: 0
Joined: 28 Jun 2006 Posts: 1388 Location: Singapore
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:11 am Post subject: |
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simply hilarious, imma post this on fb one of these days
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greatsage Grandmaster Cheater
Reputation: 23
Joined: 16 May 2008 Posts: 716
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:20 am Post subject: |
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So old..
Awesome though.
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| Imam ash-Shafi’i wrote: | | It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. |
For God sent His Last Prophet as a Mercy for all worlds;
that whosoever believe & follow him ﷺ shall not perish, but have eternal life
bit.ly/islampillpdf |
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