Joined: 14 Jan 2007
|Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:47 pm Post subject: what i've been doing this past month (with pics)
|got kicked out of my house for a month
lived at kids houses and in motels
got 14 year old girlfriend who was also kicked out of her house, had lots of problems with family along with being a big time meth abuser and coming out of 2 months of rehab right before meeting me, but was going back to rehab for a year after our relationship during my winter break. she was a weird girl. one time while cuddling and having sex with me she started crying saying she liked me too much and that thsi doesn't happen with her a guys then said she should leave at that moment and sleep on the streets so that the two of us don't get any closer attached, then all the time i expected to wake up and her be gone, thankfully she never tried to steal anything from me, we would spend most time during these 4 weeks together but there were brief moments when we separated for me to get drugs and food from my parents house or i'd have her wati for me somewhere and i'd expect her to be gone when i came back every time. she would also break down crying saying she missed her family and would talk about them all the time, especially her brother and little sister. i could tell she really missed them. i just wanted to help her so badly but she didn't want my help.
made $100-$300 a day selling drugs with her, used $50 on a motel room, a few dollars on food, rest back into drugs
got jumped once for $100 but long story short, lured the kid with the aid of a 3rd party member and got my money back plus beat him up
after that i started walking around with a screwdriver which came in handy; once when someone tried to steal from my backpack while i was sleeping in their garage but failed to find anything and poured water on my ex-girlfriend and i while we were sleeping so i broke his electric guitar and left. another tmie some kid tried to give me a fake $20 for some heroin but i told him no and my friends were all there when he tried to sell to me. then a few days later i run into him and he's like "i heard you been talking shit about me saying i'm giving you fake money for drugs. lets go into the alley and settle this." i lmao'd because everyone witnessed it and that kid is already known for being a skeevy person that no one likes and has stolen from several people to feed his heroin addiction including stealing $300 from soemones house after they let them sleep there. but he backed off after i used reasoning with him.
girlfriend was a nympho and a slut that wanted sex more often than me (at least twice a day) which was fine but made my dick sore by week 4. she'd always walk around with just my jacket on and nothing else when hanging out with people in my room. she also was a bitch in general for no reason then would act super nice at other times regardless of how i treated her. she also was dumb and enjoyed being defiant making it difficult to deal with her. but for 14 years old, she could handle her drugs better than anyone i knew. i was impressed but she did go overboard a few times.
had many close calls and run in's with the police but always got away, thankfully the police did not care that i, 20 years old, had a 14 year old girl in my motel room at 10 p.m.
made a ton of new friends/acquaintances both homeless and not. met a lot of bad people and a few genuinely good people.
was using xanax/klonopin and heroin daily during this month, became a very different person, lived a lifestyle i wanted to experience but wasn't sure if i'd get a chance to live again. i'm currently not sure how i feel about this whole adventure. parts of it were incredible and amazing, others parts have taken me to the lowest point in my life. it was fun while it lasted, but i'm horribly depressed right now probably the worst i've been in my entire life.
i realized heroin is not worth using so i'm done with it. but to be fair, i was slipping deeper into depression and already at one of my lowest points before this binge of xanax and heroin. i was desperate so i tried heroin. i was desperate so i stayed with that girl who treated me like shit because it's been literally 3 years since i've had a girlfriend. and it actually made me temporarily ok. but now i'm in an even deeper hole that i will slowly but surely get myself out of. currently weening myself off the xanax and going back to once a week use. right now using every other day or longer if it's not needed.
oh yeah, during this time my brother was getting deeper into a daily cocaine addiction, becoming very violent, beating up both my parents and i, destroying the house, having had the cops called on him for his violent behavior once while i wasn't home and another time when iwas there however they should have been called on more than those two occasions, he was sent to a mental hospital, is goign to a therapist, was put on medication, but still looks like he's using cocaine unfortunately and i'm pretty sure he is because he's asked me to find buyers. i try to ignore him these days, but my parents don't put a lock on my door so he can walk in whenever he wants and won't leave if i ask him to.
a few pictures as memories...